Monday, October 23, 2006

You're not real and you deceived me;
somehow you got everybody fooled.


Perhaps all reason has been fractured in my hysteria, but there is no missing in what this crucial
information implied, or explained.
Hysteria. This has become a rather reoccurring emotion, one which stems from an intricate, crafty source that is highly difficult to tackle, one that leaves me very, very perturbed by the increasing frequency.
Hysteria is cataclysmic to my equipoise.
And if there's one thing that absolutely terrifies me, it's losing equipoise.
There is nothing else more paralyzing, in the case of myself, then losing mental control.

Thursday, October 19, 2006

''Ore wa...seigi da!''
'I'm justice!'


*happy sigh*
Watched Death Note with Baka after school today.
HEJING YOU'RE NEXT!!
It isn't faithful to the manga, quite a spinoff actually, i would say.
The plot is rather .... too.
However, the next installment seems pretty promising, since this part ended with a climax. (!!!)
Their devious plot of raking in more moneys through the box office worked.
Harhar.
But L pretty much made up for it, coz' his antics are just so. Adorable.
(L's characterization was wonderful <33)
Raito is ugly. Murh. He needs liposuction on his cheeks, followed by Botox.
But he, despite being unblessed in looks is delightfully diabolic.
That remains true to the original storyline, and I think it's very important.
Coz' it really highlights his descendence into insanity, from when he first started out with a genuine ( though questionable) wish to help society to him murdering off anyone who opposed him in his self-appointed quest, all the while believing he is justice and ridding the world of evil.
See the power of delusions.
And how terrifying the human psyche is when it is deluded.
Especially in the presence of such a dangerous notebook.


Sooey crashed today too. :D
Oh the good old times.
It's comforting to know that we fall back into our old selves with such ease.
All the friendly bantering and bickering and idiocy and nonsensical comparisions...
It has been sorely missed.
It's a pity that the entire clique, and the extended phylum wasn't here.
Together, there will be pandemonium upon earth and it's celestial bodies.
Anyway i think my classmates were kind of frightened by our off-kilter behaviour.
THE POWER OF THREE!

After the complex drollness that was Cell Bio, ( like, omg. STROMAS AND THYKALOIDS ETCETC in chloroplasts? oh keeel me plz)
went off to PS to find Baka.
On the train Joee was telling me stuff that had me twitching and have an internal war trying to decide which was the appropriate reaction(s).
It was too bloody a war, so I settled for pacifying bewilderment instead.
It's seriously appalling, the petty things people can come up with.

Wednesday, October 18, 2006

Basically yesterday night and today was spent brooding, so now I'm fucking exhausted and irritable.
So the intensity of profanities increases. (though it's usually one word, used with redundancy)

Yes, I spent yesterday brooding for people, and today, for myself.
Ya, you're probably thinking, how does one manage to brood for people? Hell do I know how I come up with this feat.
I'm aware of what i'm brooding for, but why, is so much more elusive.
Seriously, wtf.
As for today, was brooding over nothing. Couldn't find anything that set me off. Concluded lack of sleep is dentrimental for mental health.
And i'm overcome by a sudden urge to fucking cuss at nothing.
......

TLS is a fucking lame module. I fucking hate project based learning and other shitty smuck like that. It's such a fucking waste of time.
I fucking hate doing presentations, or anything of that sort.
Yeah whatever.
I think i shall go stew in misery and stop this pointless tirade.
Not that i'm going to type anything more than fucking this, fucking that, so there.

Situations like this are becoming more frequent.
Fuck.
What is wrong with me.
Oh wait, I know. I just can't react properly to it.
Whatever.
Jaa.

Tuesday, October 17, 2006

Baka is the love of my life. well for this moment, but you don't have to know that XD

Ya, and i'm going to marinate in my mortification now.

I've always thought of myself of a rather straightforward person.
I don't like to mince words. Probably because some people deserve every scathing remark, and more.
However, I usually don't speak half the things I'm thinking, cause they might
a. take it the wrong way
b. take offense to it
c. blink and stare
d. stare, then recoil in shock at the implications,
e. not understand it anyway, so might as well save the hassle
f. go through all of the above reactions

I read somewhere that madness can be defined as
' the inability to communicate your ideas '
If so, then I'm undoubtedly mad.
Is it such a bad thing anyway?
Well for those ignorant plebeians who discriminate because someone is different, different from what their myopic perception of the world is, I don't think their opinion matters much.
It's sad that that group of people make up a significant percentage of the population, who considered themselves the norm, the only norm, and anybody else is a heretic.
It's really pathetic.
However, the world has always been this way, and will be this way for time to come.
I can gripe about this all I want, but
It's something that will never be changed. Ever.


And I would like to point out that my anger is implosive.
It's the type that crawls beneath the surface and is strongly repressed, until one day, or one moment, it reaches limit break and oh look, someone died. And i'm using died literally and metaphorically.
This is the type of ire that causes unprecendented homicides.
(Personally I don't see the point of explosive anger. It's uncultured and makes one a petty annoying shit.)
Of course, its unlikely I would ever pull something like that, coz' rationality will always be overpowering irrationality in my fucked-up mind.
Anyway, when I'm angry, I don't blindly vent. ( again, crass behaviour,) I will lash out only at the appropriate people, or snark at any offending thing/person/creature.
Unlike some people, anger doesn't make me lose control. In fact it reinforces that control ever more strongly. Intense emotions always have this effect on me, it's in situations like these, that make me link thoughts and create perceptions much better.
It's a quirky thing. (Though it doesn't apply for anything that relates to math.)
So I'm entirely aware of what I'm dishing out, though the reason behind it isn't always so palpable, even to myself.
However, this does not stop me from being cynical and sardonic.
In fact, I revel in the short period of time I can snerk.
There is a satisfaction in acerbic retaliation.


All this talk, only emphasises the detrimental side of poly.
I never had problems like this in sec school.
Even if I did the subject is with myself and the stupidity of my misplaced affections, but this, no.
It also tells you how startlingly quick people change in new environments.
Positively revolting, and you also get to identify equally revolting people.
It is a real reality-check, and it is things like that, that make me stay grounded and not flutter off into some delusional world where all is good and well.
You can't afford to have such illusions in this world.
The higher up you are up in the sky, the longer and harder you'll fall.


Yes rant. Haven't done this in a long time. Feels good.
There're only so many bunnies and other cute fluffy animals one can skewer in the mind, so there.
Have your own opinions to what I wrote, it's really none of my business, but I don't speak of things without giving them thought and basis.
That's all.

Monday, October 16, 2006

this font gets annoying after some time.
hawhaw.
does anybody have the new evanescence cd?
please let me borrow it XD *loves*


i really, really like atoji. <33
maybe i should convert to livejournal.
heh.

hooray, i changed my blogskin.
when will the day come when i can make my own? never, lol
ahahaha.
pls tag my poor tagboard coz it's so stagnant it has to be a biohazard.
-_-
Hejing and I just can't stop gushing over how magnificent & cute L is, movie or manga or anime.
CURSE YOU RAITO smexy psycho bastard FOR KILLING HIM!
there's something about evilness that attracts the fangirls in flocks.

Sunday, October 15, 2006

fuckity fuck.
lovely resentment.
joy, makes my insides go, 'weee'.


school's starting tomorrow. (MATH YET AGAIN. marvellous.)
Sigh.
and i'm sick of my blogskin.
might change it one day.
when i'm not procrastinating. which is never
need some new music.
i really love the planet.
please stop destroying the rainforests.
please stop pollution.
please stop killing our bio-diversity.

Tuesday, October 10, 2006

Lee Joon Ki is SO pretty.
Makes us females feel like transvetites next to him.
;_;
AHAHAHA.
My mum is appalled at me and my sis fawning over him.
She says he looks like a bloody girl.
And that, is the whole point ;p

Monday, October 09, 2006

Oho, I'm downloading the 1st episode of the Death Note anime...
*GLEE*
Though the torrent speeds are so dismally slow, it's no different from dial-up. *whine*
GRIEVANCE.
Death Note movie is coming out in cinemas very soon, and I just saw the trailer in the Vivocity during Saturday's almost-clique outing...( Vivo opening, btw, was lousy. Most of the F&B outlets weren't open. Preposterous.)
Jeezus, was I high.
L = tehsex.
Both versions, actually.
And the wondrous fact that anime L will be voiced by Yamaguchi Keppei...
I think I'd drown in happiness.
Yes yes. And all the Light and L UST?
HAHAHA, YES BABYYYY.
Now, just where are you, Hejing?