Saturday, January 28, 2006
I'm terribly bored.Sigh.
Just came back form my grandma's house; and let me tell you there is absolutely nothing to do there.
Though watching Kungfu Hustle did lift the terrible waves of ennui to a slightly more friendly level.
Pah.
The food was nice though. Muahaha.
So now I'm back home, practising my window-minimizing skill and honing my reflexes, ( oh comrades you should know the purpose of this seemingly bizarre exercise *winks*) and listening to Sarah Mclachlan. She's an angel I tell you. Her songs have so much emotion in them, if you don't feel a twinge when listening to them, than I suppose you're the extinct relative of the Canadian Tundra Snow Beetle.
I'm in a queer psychedelic mood again. Not that I can tell you what caused this; unless the food was spiked earlier.
Maybe it has something to do with the new SephirothxCloud fic I found,
or maybe I just finished one of my narcissistic sessions with the mirror. ( I dare you to deny ever doing this, all the girls out there, I dare you to deny this. Look into your heart first than I dare you to deny me. Wahaha. Those who actually deny, I know you're 99% lying, so save your breath.) The camera is still spoilt. I'm being denied my self-loving, gah.
I still am in love with Sarah Mclachlan. Angel has been on repeat mode for 15mins now.
My dad is becoming more superstitious, and that frankly annoys me.
Why can't everybody be an atheist and live happily ever after? No more religion wars. They are such a redundant thing.
Wistful thinking, I know. Humans are such bitches.
My cousin has taken to talking to me on my tagboard. Haha.
MSN is more convenient, aibou.
Ah when are you visiting Ayame-chan?
It'd be another 10 years before I go to Japan, so, you know what to do right?
An epiphany came to me; I realise her english is considered phenomenal in her home country for a high-school girl. So cool. All the people must be asking you to tutor them ne Ayame.
Any cute guys that approach you? Hahahahahahaha.
Now I'm talking to her on my blog.
Told you the mushrooms were suspicious.
Oh and for the first time ever, I remembered what I dreamt about last night.
It was a confusing jumble of people,things and events, fictional and non-fictional.
Insanity. It didn't make much sense, not that that was anything new, and since dreams are a representative of your subconcious, I suppose my state of mind really is teetering on some precipice. Hmm I wonder if a wave-cut platform is as smooth as the geography books say they are? ( I doubt so, dear myself. Gravel scours your skin horribly.)
Seems like I have alot of musings today. Oh look, it's chinese new year already.
That means money-collecting time.
*runs to a corner to plot devious ways of maximizing angpow intake this year*
Minny wrote on 7:50 AM.
Friday, January 27, 2006
Have been cuddling up to the angst again.Ironic as it is, angst helps me relax, clear my mind, it cheers up my mood dramatically and brings me into a proper state for emoting.
Nfu. Remedy for psychosis.
Good ole' 1x2 angst never fails. ;)
And I've discovered a new chocolate,
MINI-ORANGES.
My my, am I addicted to those liliputian explosions of color.
The nectar that coats my tongue and compliments my acidic stomach juices.
I told you, angst does things to me. Heh.
*Clears throat*
Sore de....as I am a woman of honour, as I have promised earlier, I will declare my oath;
SORRY AYAME-CHAN!
What ever haughty words I have spoken which have offended you;
I offer my deepest apologies and ask for your forgiveness,
may you extend your magnanimousity to this humble subject;
and grant me again the honoured privilege to enter your lair of precious tomes!
Minny wrote on 7:08 AM.
Wednesday, January 25, 2006
Memoirs of a Geisha is alright.Not particularly spectacular nor gaudy and droll.
It was kind of draggy though, the last part of the show about the war I totally couldn't recall reading about it. Ohoo.
Overall I say it lacks the depth, mystery and emotion of the book.
Cramps are particularly insistent and unbearable this month.
Maybe I have cysts in my ovaries or cancerous polyps. And my left leg hurts too.
What if the muscle tissue is dying and releasing myoglobin? That would explain why my kidney/liver area was spasming yesterday. See what happens when you watch House and medical facts get ingested by a paranoid mind.
Sometimes I really want emotions to be expendable. Just so to discard the muted, but incessantly annoying shred of affection that lurks furtively in a small corner (always waiting for it's chance to debut and mess up the security systems) of the big stupid pump. No I'm not brooding or moping, just puerilely opinionated. Everybody's entitled to a box of such moments anyway.
Minny wrote on 8:53 AM.
Tuesday, January 24, 2006
Oh ho. Hejing came my house today to ogle at yaoi pictures and gorgeous FAs.
Watched ff7 AC later on.
Oh i can't get enough of the wondersome graphics, though the story gets rather droll after watching it 4 times. XP
We were screeching at Tifa's annoying presence, squeeing at Cloud's prettiness and I was in Sephiroth-induced euphoria.
Bloody hell, LUX get him to endorse your shampoo now! The sales response will be so overwhelming and shoot through the roof by 1000%.
Kadaj's gayness never fails to amuse. NFU.
Ayame-chan;
I'm very realistic about things.
I don't know her, not anymore than any other person I'm briefly acquainted with.
It started with a child's naivette, and when we parted ways it
technically ended there, and the chasm just got deeper and further apart.
I anticipated and accepted this, there exist no illusions of grandeur in my mind.
I guess you find this odd and incomprehensible, my feelings and the way
I'm handling this whole situation.
Lol, I find it strange too, I can't even put what I feel in proper words,
without digressing or twisting the truth.
But don't worry about me, everything's in place and secured for now,
I've been living like this since I figured things out, I'll be ok.
Thanks for the concern, it has been utmostly appreciated,
and I've typed this out in the simplest form I could, since you don't have my remarkable literacy intellect and I'm just plain nice. XD
Minny wrote on 9:33 PM.
Saturday, January 21, 2006
Dammit I want to watch Brokeback Mountain!!!!!!I need some good angst and a story with depth.
Went for SP open house. It's so far awayyy. Banking was damn cool. They have this faux pit and dealing room for the students to try first hand.
BAKA YOU SHOULD STUDY THERE!! Their biotechnology course is rather interesting too. You get to grow black tulips. Which are actually dark purple, but whatever, it's a nice flower.
My eyeballs feel like they're have been scoured with glass chips.
Apparently some foreign substances got into it and they started to burn.
Bah. I'm seriously becoming lousy.
So I couldn't meet Joee at PS.
Pah. Went to see docter and got some eyedrops.
Slight inflammation of the conjunctiva due to irritation.
I wonder what will happen if your aqueous humour bursts or leaks.
Eee. Limp pupils.
Seeing should be physically impossible, even if you place damage to the pupil in total disregard, because the collapsed cavity would not be able to refract light to the retina, and without that, the retina cannot form a proper image to be transmitted to the brain.
Well that's my hypothesis. Feel free to rebutt and give your opinions. Heh.
Watched Microkillers just now.
Ebola is SO FUCKING SCARY.
It's an incurable disease caused by the baneful ebola virus, and once you get it into your body, you'll definately die.
Like all viruses, they attach themselves to a host cell and undergo binary fission in that poor host cell and than explode out of it.Somehow in the process of doing this, it causes your body tissues to spontaneously burst.
The individual offsprings get carried by the bloodstream, which is the highway to the entire body, and the reproductive process gets repeated again and again, until your body swarms with them.
Lacerations break out in various organs and tissues, causing massive internal haemorrhage.
The excessive blood than leaks out of all orifices; eyes, ears,nose,mouth,etc.
So basically you exsanguinate to death, drowning in your own blood and from the pernicious internal organ damage.
Goodness.Such a gruesome, torturous death.
You'll die in 3, 4 days?
I doubt victims survive even the week.
The pain must be indescribably excruciating, being corroded from inside out.
And the worse thing, it spreads readily, through cuts,sex, body fluid contact (i think) and bloody hell, areas with thin outer membranes and abundant blood vessels, (LIKE YOUR EYEBALLS) and corpses.
Thankfully it has not reached civilized worlds yet, so far cases have only been reported in rural Africa I think, where it originated.
The consequences of it being transported to developed countries, frankly is horrifying.
Minny wrote on 6:53 AM.
Friday, January 20, 2006
I want to watch Brokeback Mountain.I have a sinking feeling it'd be R21 and censored.
Or maybe it wouldn't even be screened in Singapore.
;_;
Though the gay theme is a bonus, I really think the movie has a beautiful plot.
The love presented in it is not stereotypical, but rather a reflective and subtle and unique.
Evanescence songs remind me of Seishirou and Subaru.
The patented fucked-up couple from which similiar others stemmed.
Minny wrote on 5:41 PM.
Thursday, January 19, 2006
I'm considering singing Brat'ya in 3 different octaves because I'm that high now.YOU CAN'T STOP ME BECAUSE IT'S A FREE COUNTRY AND I HAVE THE RIGHT TO DO SO!
My yaoi vibes have proven far more effective than I thought they were.
*sniffs*
I'm so choked up on emotion and GREATLY touched.
SPREAD THE LOVE, BABY.
*skips off into the horizon with a basket of unmentionables and a flower hat*
Minny wrote on 6:47 AM.
I'm sure Sooey will short-circuit when she sees it.
We're sending hormonal and illicit mental images to each other now.
MUAHAHAHA.
Well blame the picture for it's titivating factor.
It makes my imaginative mind explode into countless scenarios.
*fans self*
I'm about to sprout a whole lot of incoherent babble now so I think I shall not speak any further, lest inappropriate and explicit phrases appear on their own and soil the minds of the pure prudes out there.
I may be perverse, but my heart is still good.
Another time perhaps, when i dissipate my inhibitions and unleash the sadistic prowess of a depraved fangirl on you poor unsuspecting mortals.
Minny wrote on 6:35 AM.
Wednesday, January 18, 2006
Goldfrapp's vocals should be considered aural porn.Oh la la
Nfu.
Today at the supermarket I went all excited and maniacally gleeful at the crockery section. All the sleek black spatulas, AND FUCK CAN'T REMEMBER WHAT ELSE THEY'RE CALLED!
Bought a few of them and 2 nice Teflon pots.
THERMO-SPOTS!!
._. Is this some domestic foreboding?
Minny wrote on 6:52 PM.
Monday, January 16, 2006
Spent the whole day reading FF7 fics.O damn. FF7's got an intrigueing storyline, all the plotholes and mystery.
And dare you deny, Cloud and Sephiroth are just plain hottt.
Of course, they're not the only hotties. :D
I'm getting really fond of Reno now, have always had this weakness for redheads.
Plus, he was some serious comic relief in AC.
It doesn't help that he's a bishie.
No anime fan has ever been able to resist bishies, especially not if you're female. (or if you like dudes. But that's not the point) Teenage one, at it.
And the greatest surprise, I like Aeris alot.
She's a girl, which speaks volumes already. Hahahaha.
It doesn't help that she seems close and goes all coy-smiley around Cloud,
but I still like her. Because despite her mannerisms, I'm insistent their relationship is platonic.
She has a nice personality anyway, and she grows flowers.
She's also a Cetra by the way, and Cetras are totally cool.
They are this breed of extinct powerful peoples descended from the Ancients and is able to utilise the Lifestream. I think. From what I garnered from fics, having no experience in the game. Her theme is melodically pleasing too.
Tifa sucks. In the game, fanfics, AC, everywhere. She's the evil spawn of Mary Sues and yaoi-flamers.
Minny wrote on 5:24 AM.
Sunday, January 15, 2006
Lindsey Lohan's Confessions Of a Broken Heart is resonating in my head.It's strangely addictive, and I don't really see why.
The video amuses and irritates me at the same time though. :P
2a2 reunion today at Serangoon Macs.
(More than half of us were late. Tsk, punctuality is not a trait)
Oh the overwhelming nostalgia.
It was our after-school hang-out spot (besides j8 and heartland) virtually everyday in sec2.
Hahahaha. All the bitching that took place there.
About 10 or more people turned up, and we started the same old thing.
Wahaha. It was fun. Been a long time since.
After that went to PS to apply for job at Outfitter Girls.
Hope i get the job. Muahah.
Window-shopped at all the boutiques with Stef.
Gawked and swooend at all the pretty clothes and accessories.
PoA, ebase, hula&co and outfitter girls have GORGEOUS clothes and accessories.
Mannn. I can't wait to get paid. >_<
Met Eva.
Lunched at LJS.
Train and cabbed back home.
:D Stef's a very interesting person to talk to.
I'm impressed.
Minny wrote on 1:48 AM.
Friday, January 13, 2006
Menses screws up my hormone centers.I went around the online world asking
-MONIAL. NOT -CLE.
Cheeky individuals will be sporked to death.
Those who have acquiesed, I extend my gratitude
Ignore the strikeouts. It is my delusional
(I should stop reading all those Hyoutei fics. Atobe's traits are bleeding into me.)
Hahaha. I tell you, estrogen and progesterone make you do woozy things.
Oh I found the PoT Musical (Tenimyu) pics of Seigaku.
Let's just say I reacted badly. ;_;
It was not a pleasant sight to behold.
Hyoutei is the best.
Looks-wise.
I need some chocolate.
Sawee seems to be MIA again.
Sawee where are you? :(
WE MISSED YOU!! Your sai-sai sweet and earrings are still with me.
Partner is being a snit. :P
I'm still holding your stuff hostage. :D
Minny wrote on 6:27 AM.
(Seriously I dunno why is there such a thing, but yeah. Supposedly people who went for it said it was absolutely stunning. Hmmmm...)
And the boys are so cute!!! *scream*
Ootori and Shishido (Ngangaha!!! WINKS at baka ) are so CUTE.
So are Bane and Davide. WAKAKAKAKA!
And there're some people I didn't recognise but they were hot. Yum.
I love japanese guys.
Atobe made me laugh so hard.
He was just damn funny.
The simin-brand-of-cultivated-humor funny.
Not that he looked like crap, I think his intense diva look was captured rather well, though he looked...older.
He just doesn't look 15. Heck he doesn't even in the anime.
I fear how Tezuka would look. +_+ The image is searingly frightening.
*snigger*
The prospect of human(!) Tezuka though has piqued my interest greatly.
I must go search for pictures.
I will be responsible for my own haemorrhages, don't worry.
Nurhah! I WANT TO WATCH!!!
Minny wrote on 4:02 AM.
(to the peons who don't know who Opera is. it's my cursed browser who doesn't like me)
Ok. These past 2 days I was with Lings.
HARHAR. IT'S BEEN 6527890265 MILLION YEARS BABY?
Oh. I was glad. We took alot of narcissistic pictures yesterday, right in PS.
Applaud us for our exhibitionism.
And I'm never going to eat Alfredo ever again. Or any other cream-based pasta.
Evil things, those nefarious noodles and swampy gravy.
And today I journeyed to her house in the wee dawn to have a FRIENDS marathon.
It was perilous. I was in the danger of falling horizontally across the sidewalk, which will promptly make me part with my head most unwillingly and probably cause some massive traffic congestion. ( Scraping viscera off the roads is a dull, tedious task.)
A piece of advice : Messed-up sleep patterns ain't miscible with early birds. Neither are hangovers.
Anyway, FRIENDS is very very funny. It's so uproarious and entertaining and mad.
16eps in a sitting.
My eyes died and i havn't recovered.
Ugh.
I still havn't figured out how to change my tagboard colours.
Technically I know how, but it's not appearing. -_-
Ninny site claim that the settings were saved (countless times) but my taggie is still grey and white.
Pah.
I'm hungry.
Minny wrote on 3:34 AM.
Wednesday, January 11, 2006
SanaAto (or AtoSana?) does not compute in my head.Both of them are such overbearingly dominant people.
Who will be uke I_I?I honestly can't imagine either of them being uke.
Oh the bedroom quarrels.
Atobe: Ore-sama does not do uke. Ore-sama is the lead of the 200+strong Hyoutei Tennis team, student council head, and is most eligible bachelor in Hyoutei. Moreover, ore-sama has never been defeated in any tennis match, no plebeian has or will ever come close, so there is no probable way ore-sama will be uke.
Sanada: I pwned Ryoma once
(apologies for Sanada's OOc-ness. He's quite dry, you know. Though not as bad as Tezuka)
Three hours later, they're still throwing reasons at each other.
Or maybe man-wrestling who will be uke. By the time they drop from exhaustion, or reach a conclusion, there is no more will (nor energy) to carry out the original intention anymore. So, there's no appropriate copulation achieved.
And relationships with unsatisfying (or lack of therefore?) physical activities don't last long, especially between two hormonally-peaked teenage boys. ( fatty says: TSK. MALES. Sex dominates their cerebral cortexes. TUT,TUT.)
Anyway, I'm a Atoji and SanaYuki fangirl, so it's not of consideration to me.
Just some random musing.
Face it, both of them are too married to their respective spouses to engage in any adultery.
*cough, Sanada, cough*
Why am I even speculating about this?
Not that it will dampen my euthusiast about my preferred fandom, since I'm very well monogamous, in so many aspects.
Minny wrote on 12:38 AM.
Tuesday, January 10, 2006
LOOK AT MY BABIES!!!NGAHAHAHAHAHAHA~~
Don't you just love them.
Oh I'm so happy I can go hug my sister.
On second thoughts, maybe not.
Baka found a Jiroh fanlisting for me.
*glomp attack*
YAY!!!
The world is not that unjust after all,
and there're quite many members.
Spread the love, spread the love.
*walks off into the horizon grinning*
Minny wrote on 5:45 PM.
*is pissed*
If even losers like Sakuno have a fanlisting,
WHY THE HELL DOESN'T JIROH HAVE!!! GAH.
Even Taki has one.
And he appeared for, 10secs in the entire series?
JIROH HAS AT LEAST ONE EPISODE!
INJUSTICE.
Minny wrote on 2:29 AM.
Monday, January 09, 2006
I should have just dyed my hair silver in HK.Hahahahahahaha
This way my mum can't do anything to stop it me, except nag her ass off.
Maybe the blinding silver may stun her so she can't summon up any nagwords.
Don't you just think silver is such a wonderful color.
*imagines thyself in full silver glory*
Then I can cosplay as Sephiroth.
(Right. Kadaj more like it, actually.)
Ootori than?
(Which will involve chopping off my hair. -_- )
Damn.
I want a digital perm.
CURLS ARE UPPITY!
Damn. It costs $99. I have ninety-nine divided by eleven in total.
Minny wrote on 8:27 PM.
Sunday, January 08, 2006
Talked to lizzie and eva just now.It's really funny, when I go around dispensing advice and acting like people's shrinks, while I'm so prettily fucked-up.
I love the irony.
It's like some amusing paradox that only reinforces the fact that the world is full of wonderfully strange things.
Well I suppose some things need a 'been done, there that' type of concious to be understood and tackled.
Watched Oprah Primetime just now.
Child sex slavery is a despicable, disgusting, corrupting business.
It showcasts the worst of humanity, and displays the ugliness of human nature.
The poor poor kids. They're like prepubescent (from 5-12!!!! those fetch better prices. is it even humanely possibly to have sex with 5year olds? sex as in sex with no vaginal lacerations and tears and fuck other horribly painful injuries? me think not.)and teenaged.
Fuucck. How desperate are those fuckwads?!
FUCK THE WORLD IS CORRODING. MORALS ARE DYING.
What shit about boosting virility..they're ruining a child's life, future and innocence.
Moreover the latter, can never be redeemed again, and no one deserves to lose theirs in such a brutal way.
I wonder how can those bastards sleep at night.
And the infuriating thing is, it's everywhere.
Not just SEA, but in 'civilized' countries like USA, where it's rampant and abducted kids get smuggled in by truckloads everyday.
I'm really really frustrated by this...global plague.
Next time after I become rich and have enough money to not work for lifetime, I'm going to volunteer as a humanitarian worker.
Damn it.
Minny wrote on 7:55 PM.
Friday, January 06, 2006
Yay. I changed the layout.Blue one was irritating my delicate eyes.
The picture is cute.
The words however, are of consideration.
(>_> the day you went away? Helloo?)
It's like lines from a cheesy soap.
Ah welll.
I'm a computer idiot, so I'd have to go by using other people's designs.
Am still spooked by the Satanist thing.
It struck me that I sound terribly out of character the past few posts.
Epiphanies always are more fun than normal realisations.
Murhaha?
Owell. The pensive mood is gone. At least for now.
Dam reinforcements secured in place.
I've been repeating Bratja for 2hours now.
It's soothing.
Yay. But it's frustrating coz' I still can't get one particular line.
Pah.
Yaoi is a life saver.
PS; there's something wrong with archives.
Hmm. I can't seem to figure it out.
Minny wrote on 2:15 PM.
Thursday, January 05, 2006
You scored as Satanism. Your beliefs most closely resemble those of Satanism! Before you scream, do a bit of research on it. To be a Satanist, you don't actually have to believe in Satan. Satanism generally focuses upon the spiritual advancement of the self, rather than upon submission to a deity or a set of moral codes. Do some research if you immediately think of the satanic cult stereotype. Your beliefs may also resemble those of earth-based religions such as paganism.
Which religion is the right one for you? (new version) created with QuizFarm.com |
._. Who would have known.
I thought atheism or paganism would be a closer match.
Ok. Maybe Satanism stereotypes are too ingrained in people.
Research time.
Minny wrote on 10:04 PM.
I really must say, the story is genius.
Genius genius genius.
Not in a million years will i conceive a plot like that.
But I couldn't continue after L's death.
L is not supposed to die!
He and Raito are supposed to be end up together in Kira's Universe and have lots of babies in the future.
Ok maybe not. The baby part at most.
Anyway his successors are not as cool, likeable, smart,weird nor neurotic as him.
Raito gets deliciously more psychopathic with every chapter. I swear it evolves at such impressive speeds, that it's only surpassed by viruses trying to defeat vaccinations.
God-complex is starting to melt his brains.
As scary as it is, he's still sexy like hell. And still a fucking genius. Applause for his crafty ways and warped perspective on justice.
Someone, please clone L back to life?
Or please preserve him in a cryogenic chamber so that he can be revived?
Alphonse x Edward pairings make me nauseous.
Please don't defile their brotherly love?
*points at brat'ya*
DEFILER OF SUCH PURE LOVE SHOULD BE HANGED AND SPORKED.
Appalling. The number of fans this pairing garnered.
RoyAl is just as nauseating. It's just wrong on so many levels.
RoyEd is yum though. Pwahahaha.
Minny wrote on 8:26 AM.
I just copied and pasted the code and look what became of it.
bah.
I'm in way over my fucking head.
And yes I swear alot.
Picked it up along the way to Fucked-up ness.
I think I know why I'm not telling her anything, besides the reasons I've already stated.
It's because somewhere in the recesses of my mind, I'm scared. And I don't want to be hurt, deep down.
The irksome thing here is her hold over me.
She will always have this power to affect me in ways, emotionally, psychologically,any one day I stay in this situation.
You can make what impregnable shields I've built up over the years crumble with a well placed barb, whether literally or not.
You can kill me.
And that is why, I hate you.
Saa ne. I must get out of this brooding.
Preferably as soon as possible.
Before I do more OOC things.
This is part of her freaky omniscient powers too.
Oh just get out of my life. :p
Minny wrote on 4:29 AM.
|
Degree
From Go-Quiz.com
Yay. Psychotic ranting. Right on the dot. I need a shrink. Someone please?
I don't think I can play that role anymore. I need some help. :)
Minny wrote on 3:51 AM.
Wednesday, January 04, 2006
Ok meme-high's over.Haha memes are fun. Role-playing is fun too.
Had a chat with Baka just now.
About Bunta and Akaya which eventually lead up to be about my fucked-upness.
I told her what I could put in words.
How feelings more annoying than flies tickling your legs still plague me.
How I cannot understand myself anymore.
How bad things had turned out, in the end.
She's really the only one who can remotely understand the
extent of the fucked-up ness and the reasons why.
I'm really touched and appreciative towards your willingness to entertain my ranting.
It makes me all fluffy and warm inside. (much to my chagrin -_-)
I love you Baka. :)
You, object of (irritating) affections, must be laughing maniacally at my demise and rolling your eyes at my behaviour on your comfortable perch. Asshole :P.
Ah well. I don't really care.
And that last statement is probably the bane of my character deteoriation.
I don't care.
Simple. But horrifying when it comes to me I suppose.
It's this detachedness, resignation and nonchalance that
causes my sanity to erode away.
These wretched feelings at the entire situation and
it is eating away everything I once was.
I really can't technically blame her for it,
though everything started spirally downwards due
to that cursed decision of my rebellious heart.
Because when it all boils down, it's really my fault for letting it all happen.
There isn't anything else I can really blame.
It's my own misguided stupid excuse of a heart,
and my nonchalance that caused everything.
I let it happen. Willingly.
No, really. I stood by and watched in fascination and let things unravel
themselves when I could have stepped in and done something to reverse it.
The affections part can't be helped, it has and never will be unless my dumb organ
decides to do something smart and stop this atrocious nonsense.
It's the veering towards fucked-up ness that I could have prevented.
It's irreversible now i think.
Even now as I'm saying this, I'm cheery and not very concerned.
As if this were a random blog entry about seeing a frog on the way home or something.
And whatever rational part of me is terrified and threatened by the insouciance.
Ah I can't tell it to the source of my depravity because me thinks
she lacks the brain capacity to understand it.
If the almighty me is perplexed by it, then there is no chance she would. :P
Anyway, it's not like she would care.
For I'm certain she is annoyed with my presence and the unwanted affections.
I can understand it, because my mind works in arcane ways.
And I'm cool with that. Too cool in fact.
It doesn't bother me much, she's got her own life and I have mine,
and she has the right to do what the hell she pleases.
But I really wish for us to be on friendly terms with each other.
The possibility, saddeningly, is minute.
There're certain types of awkwardness that don't fade away
and things can never be like what they were before anymore.
I'm annoyed at myself for feeling this, but this really makes me sad and wistful.
Somehow. Owell. I had my turn once upon time.
Now we live our lives the way we dictate them to be.
They forked off a long time ago, and the distance between us widens every day.
Brooding does nothing after all, so why waste valuable time doing worthless
things like this when one can be off doing more productive things.
I really wish to tell you what is running through my mind.
But that's impossible as I can't voice my thoughts, they're too tangled
with each other and we're not on the same plane anymore.
I'm harbouring selfish wishes. And your indifference will wound me,
no matter how slight or how well I mask it.
The price of such rigid mental walls, is once penetrated,
the vulnerability is so much more raw.
Sigh. It exasperates me, knowing that no matter how i
try to retreat to Happy Land and move on, everything
comes back to the one thing I tried so hard to avoid and distance myself from.
Like some fucked-up parody of the Tezuka-zone. Bauurgh.
You really are my entire fucking world, all complexities thrown aside.
And that, is so pathetic and simpering.
It's so grossly maudlin that I want to hurl myself off a high precipice.
This is why I want to blame you, however obscure it is.
You make me like that of everything I strive not to be.
Gods. I detest your omniscient power.
See what fucked-up ness does to people.
It's a morbidly fascinating and terrifying thing.
Joy. -_-
I think this ramble started partially because I was
listening to Evanescence's *Forgive Me* on repeat mode for 2 hours.
:p
Minny wrote on 7:18 AM.
Tuesday, January 03, 2006
SQUEE. My favouritest Seigaku pairing!! Nfunfunfunfu. Though I admit I rigged the answers to get this. :p 
Momoshiro x Echizen
Which Seigaku Regular Pairing Are You?
brought to you by "ACHTUNG! yuikoshiro may actually be a spider-human hybrid
Minny wrote on 11:19 PM.
What color are you? (Anime Pictures)
brought to you by Quizilla
Well of course.
;)
I laughed to death ok. My goodness. Wtf!
*headdesk*
Seriously, Memes are getting more and more exciting. meme overload.
I so totally agree with the above, by the way. Though maybe Beautiful Mind is a little, off kilter. *smirks*
*guffaws* Righttt.
._. This meme thing is getting interesting.
This made me gag and splutter and laugh raucously.
*kills you with a spork*
WTFF! HAHAHAHAHA. I just had the most disturbing image of me singing the WHO LET THE DOGS OUT theme before murdering. Sweet.
Comfort me when you meet me 10 years later k?
I LOVE JROCKERS! And cosplay! SHibuya Yuri Harajuku Furi!!!
o.o 1 year? How much sex does it take to kill you in one year? *brain supplies with 24/7, 365 fucking* SPAZ.
Thy is a nonsexual, frigid amoeba. *widdle*
I'm appalled at my unpopularity!! *flings self off cliff*
Minny wrote on 9:57 PM.
Maybe I should have applied for JC.
What was I thinking >_>
Results ain't too shabby, actually.
Moreover NY , Anderson and SR are nearby.
Ahhh.
I'm bored at home.
Have to go find a job and stop wasting away.
Minny wrote on 5:42 PM.